Black rose
by Angel 1291
Summary: Severus works as a spy again at the Death Eaters when Dumbledore takes an auror to Hogwarts. bevor HP 5
1. The arrival

(Disclaimer: The persons do not belong to me, but to JKR.)

Black rose

****

Chapter 1 : The Arrival

Told by Muriel Stern 

Today is may first day in Hogwarts. For this year I am the new teacher for Defence against the Dark Arts. As an auror it should be easy for me to teach harmless children, but I am extremely nervous. The reason why I acceptet this Job is not the pleasure in children nor in teaching, oh no. 

I cannot go on working as an auror, because I don't have the nerves anymore and I also lost my inner balance. My last task as an auror didn't end according to plan. It was horrible. I hobe I will, as a teacher in Hogwarts, get back the hang of my life, to fight the evil again.

But at the moment the excitement of Hogwarts is enough for me. 

As I didn't go to school here, I don't know the castle nor the teachers. The only one I met is Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts.

I have now been two days in London and have visited the well-known Diagon Alley. In the "Leaky Cauldron" I ate something and had the opportunity to learn more about Hogwarts. Nearly everyone had to tell something about the teachers or the students. One name I memorized. It was mentioned nearly everywhere: Severus Snape, the potionsmaster. It is said, there is no potion he cannot brew. But also words like 'arrogant' and 'cold' were used. Well, we will see what Severus Snape is like.

At last the Hogwarts Express arrives. I'm eager to start my new job. 

* * *

After five hours in the train, I woke up covered in sweat. I had this nightmare again, which has tortured me for three months. I went straight to the toiletroom to refresh myself. I wanted to make a good impression on my first day. A short time later the Hogwarts Express arrived in Hogsmeade. It was the 31. august. I arrived a day before the students to have enough time to get to know the premises. Of course also to meet the other teachers and get prepared. 

As I got off the train it was raining slightly and the dusk came up. On the platform stood a hudge man with black hair and a beard. He held up a plate on which was written in golden letters: Professor Muriel Stern. 

I went to him straight away. By Albus Dumbledore's prescription I recognized him at once. „You must be Rubeus Hagrid." I said smilingly.

„He looked at me in surprise. „Are you Professor Stern?" 

„Yes," I answered. „Did you expect someone else?" 

He looked at me disbelievingly. „Oh... well, I oh, I thought an auror would look different."

„Are you disappointed?" I asked him and had to bite back a grin.

I was used to this sort of reaction. With my delicate figure and a height of not quite 1 Meter 60 I really wasn't the typical auror. In plus I only was 28 years old.

Hagrid looked a bit ashamed and turned away. „No, in contrari. Hm, where do you have your cases? I will bring them to the carriage."

We went back to the train and got my stuff. A short time later we arrived at Hogwarts. Its size made a deep impression. Hogwarts was a hudge castle with four imposant towers which symbolized the different houses: Gryffindor, Slytherin, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff. 

„Nervous?" Hagrid asked suddenly.

I looked at him and said „Yes, a bit."

„You don't need to, Dumbledore is a good and fair man."

"Thanks," I said and climbed out of the carriage as it held in front of the main portal. There Albus Dumbledore already awaited me. „Welcome Muriel," he said effusively. „I am pleased to welcome you in Hogwarts." 

I smiled a little. „It is all my pleasure."

„May I show you in and present you the other teachers? The are all in the Great Hall and waiting for you," said Dumbledore.

„Yes, please." I followed the Headmaster into the castle, while Hagrid said he would bring my luggage into my rooms.

As we reached the Great Hall I hesitated a bit. The enormous room with the bewitched ceiling, the many empty rooms on which tomorrow students would sit and not at last the teacher's table in the far middle with all the teachers of Hogwarts made me feel uneasy. Again I asked myself if I could manage this job. 

Most of the teachers were discussing and did not notice the Headmaster and me. The only one that looked at me from the first step I made into the Hall was a slim man with long black hair, deep black eyes and a pale skin. He wore a dark green cape. He didn't really look good, but had a striking face and something about him really fascinated me. I knew this must be Severus Snape, the Potionsmaster. 

Albus Dumbledore cleared his throat and said: „May I ask for your attention for a moment, please?" 

The discussion stopped and they all looked at me. 

„This is Professor Muriel Stern. She is going to teach Defence against the Dark Arts for this year. After her six years as an auror she brings all the knowledge to correspond to this job."

I was aware of Snapes look as the Headmaster introduced me to each teacher. His glance seemed to burn on my skin. I already said Hello to the Professors Flitwick, Trewlaney, Sprout and McGonagall when we came to Professor Severus Snape. 

I smiled at him and said: „I am very pleased to meeting you, Professor. I have heard a lot about you."

He too smiled but this smile didn't seem to reach his eyes. 

„I too am pleased that our Headmaster," he cast a mysterious look at Dumbledore, „round such a good teacher for Defence against the Dark Arts."

This sentence seemed to be filled with sarcasm. I already knew about the problem, that Severus wanted to have my job for a long time and that Dumbledore hadn't given it to him out of a secret reason. This was one the things I had heard in the Diagon Alley for many times.

Dumbledore shook his head slightly and lead me on the other teachers.

TBC


	2. The reaction

**Black rose **

**Chapter 2: The reaction**

**Told by Severus Snape **

As usual I sat at my desk in the office late in the night. I held my head in with my hands and was thinking. Tonight after dinner I had left the Great Hall as fast as I could. It had been difficult for me to stay calm during the dinner. Afterwards I excused myself and said that I had some important work to do. Then I led my hurrying steps towards my office. 

Albus had today presented us a new teacher for Defence against the Dark Arts. Her name is Muriel Stern. And she is and Auror! AN AUROR!!!

"Great!" I murmured. 

What would happen if she found out I was a Death Eater? What when she recognized my name? What, if she already knew...... if she had come to observe me?

A cold shiver ran down my spine when I thought back to the time when aurors had come to get me for a questioning while Albus Dumbledore was away. That had been in my sixth year in Howarts.

The tortures with the Cruciatus spell together with the Veritaserum which had seemed to dure for hours still brought up an extreme goose-skin on my whole body when I tought back. In that night I had lost the trust in manhood for all times...

I should not think about that otherwise I would not find any sleep during this night.

"Tomorrow I have to speak to Dumbledore," I whispered to myself. 

I had to know what it was all about that he gave the job to an auror. Above all as he had asked me four month ago to take up my old place as a Death Eater and spy on Voldemort. He knew what risk it was for me. I had been taken up as a full member of the Death Eaters and had to go on various missions again. As the second in command of Voldemort I simply could not show any weakness and to hesitate would have been my death. They commanded me to torture people or even kill them. On the other side I got information, which saved many lives. But to which price? Night after night nightmares tortured me, during the day it were the feeling of guilty, which wouldn't let me go. 

I moaned by only thinking about it and put my head on my arms. What should I do? If the aurors would catch me in a mission, it would probably not be possible for Dumbledore to stand up for me and I would end in Askaban. But on the other side, if he would be able to do something for me, the dark side would be after me. My faith hung in the balance. And now he even took in an auror into our school. I lifted my head and shouted: "Great, really great!" 

I had to calm down somehow. I stood up and took the book I bought in the Diagon Alley yesterday, sat into my armchair in front of the fireplace. The golden letters on the black cover seemed to grin at me. The title: Old, forgotten potions. 

After a few minutes I gave in and closed the book again. It really was hopeless to concentrate. My thoughts always went back to Muriel Stern.

She was a lovely and delicate woman. She had long blond hair that fell down over her shoulders. Clear deep blue eyes like the sky on a summer's day. "She looks like an angel that came down to earth," I whispered but then I realized again that she was an auror. "An angel of death", I hissed and threw the book against the wall. 

I really had to calm down and went to the shelf behind the desk.

With shaking hands I poured in a Glas of "Don Mendo". It was a powerful Spanish Red Wine. The first glass I poured down at once and then took another one. With the bottle in one hand and the glass in the other I went back to the fireplace and sat into my chair.

Already after the second glass I felt a bit better. I took up the glass and looked at the dark red liquid. It was a beautiful incomparable color.****

After pouring down the third glass I put it back on the little table beside me. I run my hands through my hair and put my head on my bended knees. Once again I really felt lonely like so often...

At the same time... 

**Told by Muriel Stern **

At last I was in my rooms. I had a cosy office and a lovely bedroom. Both rooms were rather big and had a fireplace in which a warm fire flickered. I stood in front of the bed. "God, is it big." I let myself fall on it backwards – it was soft and comfortable. 

It had been a long day and I was really tired. Of course that was also because of the late hour. It was far past midnight, but the time had flown by with the interesting discussions I had had with Professor McGonagall. The teachers seemed to be nice and friendly and all had offered me help. Above all about finding the rooms in this hidge castle. And it was also quite a bit a problem for me that the staircases changed their places from time to time. 

"They are bewitched," Professor McGonagall had explained. "The staircases love to get some variety. Therefore they are always in another place. Don't worry Muriel, soon you will get used to it and it won't be a problem anymore." 

"I really do hope," I had answered rather in doubts. After that I went to my rooms

So now I lay on my bed and was not able to fall asleep inspite of my tiredness. I thought about Professor Snape. Not as much about his malicious remarks than about his glances. I would have loved to talk to him after dinner, but he had left the Great Hall straight afterwards. Something was strange. But perhaps it was just imagination. "I really need a break," I murmured. As an auror I always had to be alert. I had to see things that other people did not even notice. It was time to go back to normal life and not to expect an attacker behind every shadow. I really had to relax. So I slipped under the blanket and closed my eyes. I loved the big bed and fell asleep.

Two hours later...

Suddenly I startled from my sleep. It took me some minutes to know where I was. My heart was jumping and I was panted. It had just happened again. It was again this dream. Bathed in sweat I lay in my bed and tried to calm down. "It was only a dream, not more. And it's over." I whispered into the darkness. My body shook. This dream always haunted me. It was my last order that I could not get over. This time too I had found my self, surrounded by Death-Eaters. My wand was not there any more and I was helpless, but this I realized from far away. André and Luis lay to my feet and did not move anymore. The inevitable spell had killed them a few seconds ago. We had been cought in an ambush. There were nights I was afraid of falling asleep as I knew this dream would come again. 

"André," I whispered, held my hands in front of my face and cried. "No," I said to myself, "you cannot let go now. Pull yourself together!" I knew that some fresh air would do me some good and I got dressed and went out. 

Dusk was already coming up and the last stars faded slowly. Through the morningly autumn fog I could not see the lake. But I knew where it was and went straight into that direction. The cool freshness of the morning air came through my clothes and I felt the soft wind. A few minutes later I reached the lake and looked out onto the water. I could not see the other opposite shore as the fog was too thick. 

I stood there for some time and loved the quietness. Then suddenly someone behind me cleared his throat. I flung around and held my wand in my hand. 

"Not bad your reaction. But shouldn't you be a bit more cautious as an auror?" someone said sarcastic from a bit further away. He too had a wand on me. It was Severus Snape. He sat with his back leaned agains a tree. As he had wet hair I suspected that he had sat there a long time.

"Shouldn't normal people lay in their beds at this time of the day and sleep instead of frightening helpless woman?" I said teasingly.

"Helpless? You? You really make me laugh!" Suddenly his look changed. "Drop your wand at once and don't move too quickly!" he whispered and his eyes glittered coldly.

I felt drops of sweat on my forehead. My hand started shaking and my thoughts turned. What now? He couldn't do me any harm we were colleagues. But I knew he wanted to have my job. So what would he do?

Slowly I let my wand glide into the grass. 

"That was a bit easy, wasn't it?" mocked Snape, his wand still showing towards me. 

I closed my eyes and fell to the ground. 

********* 

When I came round I felt that I lay in the wet grass. I opened my eyes and saw that Snape was kneeling beside me and looked at me quite a bit worried.

"Hey," he said softly. "What's wrong with you? I was only joking, I didn't mean to frighten you!" 

He stroke back a streak of my hair. I looked into his asking black eyes and stammered: "I...... I......." and at once tears were rolling down my cheeks. I didn't intend to but I could do anything against it. The whole exitements of the last days and the little sleep surely contributed to it. 

"Don't worry, calm down! Everything is okay," whispered Severus and hold me in his arms. 

I don't know how long we stayed there at the lake. Was it for minutes? Was it for hours? 

Then he said: "Come Muriel, we really should get back before you catch a cold." 

He helped me up and we went in direction of the castle. None of us said a word. As we reached the portal he suddenly said: "Just a moment. That's yours." And he gave me my wand. 

"Thanks" I said which he probably did not even hear. 

"In half an hour breakfast will be ready. You should change your clothes before someone sees you," he said ernestly and off he went. 

I looked down on my and saw that my cloak was dirty. The wet earth along the lake had left its tracks. So I hurryingly went to my office to change. 

Afterwards I really felt stupid that I had thought he wanted to kill me down by the lake. But at the moment when Severus held his wand towards me I had seen his eyes. And what I had seen there had frightened me. This man had already killed. There was no doubt about that. He must have done it often. It could not be.... but I had only seen this look in the eyes of Death Eaters, never with someone else. Or was he really just a teacher? 

**Told by Severus Snape **

I sat on my bed. The face buried in my hands. "That cannot be," I moaned. "Why is the faith so bad against me?"

Out by the lake, while kneeling beside her, I recognized her again. I had felt that I knew her from somewhere. The last time I had seen her, she had had dark hair and had been dressed differently. It had of course been the uniform of an auror. 

"It really could not be any worse," I thought. Sooner or later she would recognize me.

I let myself fall back onto the bed and thought back of the first time we had met...

It was only four months ago that Voldemort had come back to power and that I began to work as a Death Eater. For me it seemed to be half of eternity.

To show Voldemort my loyality I had to plan tactic and clever attacks and had to fulfil them. It was horribly but I had to do it. If Voldemort found out that I was a spy my life wouldn't be worth a penny.

The most horrible and most deeply shocking attack had taken place three months ago. I had planned the death of a mudblood-family, all of the Ravenclaws, whose name was well known in the ministry of magic. But that wasn't enough. I wanted to show my loyality for all times. So I let come through some information about the attack I had planned. I knew that the ministry would send some of their best aurors to protect the family. That had from the beginning been part of my plan. 

Together with twenty cautiously chosen Death Eaters we started...

The family and also the three aurors were caught. 

I pressed my eyes together. The memory of that night still made me shiver.

One after the other, beginning with the family, I had tortured with the cruciatus curse and as they kneeled in front of me and begged for mercy I killed them with the inevitable spell. Two of the aurors I had aswell tortured with Cruciatus curse until they were only small shaking wracks. Afterwards I also spoke the Avada Kedavra! 

The last living person was an auror. I didn't know her name but her face I will always remember. I still can see her as it had been yesterday...

I went to her. She looked right into my eyes. This look I would never forget. At this moment I knew that I would not kill her. These eyes seemed to look directly into my soul. 

I stepped in front of her and saw her tremble, drops of sweat on her forehead. Her lips formed the words: "Please don't!"

I directed my wand on her heart and whispered "Crucio!" 

As the Death Eaters then wanted me to kill her I said coldly: "To kill such a beautiful woman without having some fun would really be a shame, wouldn't it?" 

The Death Eaters laughed.

"So we will meet in thirty minutes where we planned to. Go now!" 

One after the other disappeared and when I was sure they all were away, I kneeled next to her. She seemed to be unconscious. I felt her pulse. It was weak but regularly. Then she opened her eyes. 

When she realized who was kneeling beside her she was shocked. No wonder!

"What do you want?" she croaked. 

"Ssschhhh, calm. They are gone. Nothing happens to you. So sorry that I had to do it." With these words I got up and stepped away from her. I felt her glance. Slowly I turned and lifted my wand, until it showed exactly to her heart. 

"I have no choice!" I whispered and saw her fright and horror. Then I cast the spell. 

"Amnesia!" 

After taking a deep breath I lifted my wand against heaven invoked the dark mark and left the place where this horrible scenery had taken place. 

When I appeared at the meeting point, the dark lord was already there and knew about the success. On this evening I got back my "old" position. I was the second in command of Voldemort and therefore nearly the highest Death Eater. Even Lucius Malfoy was under me. 

All exhausted I disappeared to Hogwarts and broke down in the entrance hall...

And now Muriel Stern was a teacher in Hogwarts, the teacher of Defence against the Dark Arts. I really hoped the amnesy spell would hold on...

TBC


	3. 1st September

Black rose 

****

**Chapter 3: 1st september**

****

Told by Albus Dumbledore 

Nervously I walked up and down in my office. In a few minutes Severus would come in to discuss something with me. He had asked me for this meeting right after breakfast. I knew, I would have to explain some things to him. I had already expected this, when I made the decision to employ Muriel Stern.

I had my reasons, why I had chosen her. One of them was of course, that Muriel, after six years practise as an auror, was perfect for this job. She surely could teach the students a lot of especially based on practical work instead of just pure theory. But it wasn't only this…

I sat down at my desk, and tried to arrange my thoughts.

"It will be good for both, to get to know each other." I mumbled.

Today I had had different opportunities to watch Severus. Since last night something had definitely changed. I knew him good enough by now, to see that he had recognized her and was worried.

I hoped he had enough self-restraint to control his temper. Up to mood Severus tended to drastic actions. I knew, how much power he always needed, when the dark Lord summoned his followers. As one of Voldemorts best Death Eaters, he couldn't permit himself any weakness.

I remembered the night, in which Muriel Stern and Severus Snape had met the first time. I had sat a long time in the dark entrance hall and waited for him. Short before he had to go, he had told me, that this was going to be a delicate mission.

The morning had already dawned when he apparated and broke down in the entrance hall. I went to Severus right away and knelt beside him. As I put a hand on his shoulder, he came round. Concernedly I brought him down into the dungeon and helped him to bed. He was completely exhausted. We remained in silence for a while. Then he suddenly asked: "Please, Albus, could you get me the potion from the table over there?"

I nodded and went over there. A small bottle stood there filled with a purple liquid that I knew so well. It was a strong sleeping potion, which Severus brew himself. I gave him the bottle and asked. "That bad?"

With shaky hands he took the bottle and nodded. I was worried, as I had never seen him in such a condition before. 

Suddenly he lifted his head and looked at me. His look burned in my soul. Was it really fair to ask this from him?

Then he whispered: „Today I killed six people. An auror I left alive. His voice broke. Then he continued: „I simply couldn't kill her. After I tortured her with the cruciatus spell I put the amnesia-spell on her."

He tried to open the bottle, but it didn't work. So I took out the cork for him and Severus poured down the liquid at once. He closed his eyes and said: „Voldemort was pleased and I got back my position as the second of the command."

I felt that the potion did its work and how he fell asleep. Suddenly he jerked up and held my arm: „He doesn't know it. He doesn't know that I let her go. Nobody knows it!"

„And nobody is going to know it, leave it to me", I tried to calm him and Snape let himself fall back into the cushions. I took his hand and pressed it.

„Would you mind staying here with me until I fall asleep?" Severus asked weakly..

I shook my head, not able to say anything and held on tighter to his hand. He calmed down a little, closed his eyes and whispered „Thanks!"

That was now three months ago...

A light knock on the door was heard and I called „Come in!" The door opened and Severus came in with a black expression.

_A bit later...._

Told by Severus Snape 

Hurriedly I went down the stairs that led from Dumbledores office into he hall. I was torn to and fro between my feelings and what Dumbledore had told me. My head felt as if it would burst. I could not think anymore.

I passed the gargoyle and felt that I had to go out into the fresh air. Suddenly I felt as if I was going to suffocate, if I stayed in the castle for a minute longer. Then I started to run, through the entrance hall, which seemed to be longer than ever before, and out, only out. At last I reached to portal, pulled it open and stormed out into the yard. Surprised looks followed me but I didn't care. Only as I reached the lake I began to slow down, stopped and exhaustedly fell down into the grass.

As I lay in the grass, gasping and the blood bouncing in my ears, I tried not to think and to relax. I closed my eyes and concentrated on the silence with was near the lake. I always came here to think...

Albus had known exactly why I had come to him. He knew it was because of the auror. And as it seems he had chosen Muriel Stern for this job on purpose.

„It is important that we have a good ally whom we can trust. Muriel will hopefully recover soon from her traumatic experiences of three months ago. As soon as it is necessary, I will let her in to it," said Dumbledore.

„And so give her the possibility to extradite me to the ministry? No, you cannot be serious on that, Professor," I answered. „And what if she realizes it was me? That it is me who killed them all? Why should she help me after I cursed her with the Cruciatus until she was un unconscious? It was me who tortured her that way." 

„You did it because you were forced to, Severus!" said Dumbledore. „She is an intelligent woman, she will understand.."

„So? Will she really understand?" I shouted now with anger.

I had heard enough, got up and left Dumbledores office. I could hear how he said: „Trust in me, Severus!"

Trust! Whom could I still trust in this mad world?

*****

Suddenly I heard someone softly call my name. „Lily..." I whispered. And again I heard this voice only a bit more impressive. „Severus, wake up."

Wake up? I must have fallen asleep. I nearly jumped! Next to me in the grass sat Muriel and smiled at me. „And? Did you sleep well?" 

My eyes burned and I rubbed my face with my hands to wake up completely. I still sat at the lake. No wonder as I hadn't closed an eye the whole night. Now I really felt whacked.

„What are you doing here?" I asked Professor Stern with anger. The fact that it was her who had woken me up did not help to make my mood any better. In contrary. 

She didn't seem impressed by my cold voice and only said: „Well I thought you would be interested that the students will arrive here in Hogwarts in a quarter of an hour." With these words she got up and went back to the castle. 

„Ahhhhhh, that late already!" With a sigh I let myself fall back into the grass. I had to hurry as hard as it seemed at the moment. I even hadn't changed. So I got up and hurried away. 

_During the banquet..._

Told by Muriel Stern 

It was an unbelieving experience. The big hall was full of students who sat along the tables and were talking happily. The hall was beautifully decorated and a there was a festive atmosphere. 

Severus managed to appear short before the students. He was quite out of breath, as he had to change. He looked absolutely great in black. Powerful. Unapproachable. When he passed me he touched my shoulder and whispered a nearly silent „Thanks!" to which I answered with a slight nod. 

This afternoon I had been to see Hagrid and had asked him about the forbidden wood and the creatures that lived in it. As I went back I had seen Severus run out of the castle as if he was chasen by wolfs. I frowned and followed him. As he arrived at the lake, he had let himself fall into the grass. I watched him a while and asked myself what had ruffled me, but I didn't dare to go to him. As he missed the meeting that Dumbledore held with all the teachers I had already thought he must have fallen asleep there by the lake. During lunch he had already looked very tired. 

Suddenly I realized that Professor McGonagall was talking to me. She had asked me something that I didn't understand. But then Dumbledore got up and held a short speech. He explained the rules that every student had to keep and admonished the new students of the first class, not to forget the code for common-room. Afterwards the dinner was opened.

In between I always tried to have a look at Professor Snape. Whenever our eyes met I felt how the blood shot into my cheeks and looked away.

And also today Severus disappeared rather quickly after the students had left the big hall. I too was tired and went into my rooms.

_A bit later..._

For more than an hour I had thrown myself back and forwards in my bed. I just could not find any rest. I was afraid of the always coming back nightmare and on the other side I always thought of Severus Snape.

Suddenly I got up and was in front of his office before I even thought. „What am I doing here", I asked myself. „I am sure he is asleep." 

Told by Severus Snape 

I sat at my desk and organized the papers I was going to need for the lessons the next day. The door to the classroom was open and from time to time I heard some hissing sounds. I had to brew my sleeping potion again. It was nearly empty. I wasn't addicted to it. That was something I had always been able avoid. But there were many nights in which I wasn't able to sleep without the potion, not even for an hour.

As I had sat at the teachers table tonight, I had had the possibility to look at the students. Harry looked a bit better than before the summer holidays. But one could still see traces of the horror of the Trimagical Tournament.

Neville had the whole evening not found the courage to look at me. Every time when I noticed that or when he failed in my lessons, I had a bad conscience. What if Voldemorts had spared the Longbottoms and not forced me.... No, I shouldn't think about it. The past one could not change. 

Exactly as i wanted to look after my potion again, I heard a knock on my door. And I really was surprised. Normally nobody ever came to see me, at least not at this time of night!

I went to the door and was really curious who dared to disturb me at this time. And while I opened I said angrily: „Who the hell..." There she stood. Muriel. She only wore a long white night-gown and a cloak over it. I swallowed hard and heard her say: „Don't you want to ask me in?"

I hesitated but then gave the way open to let her come in. Now I had found my voice again. „What do you want?" I asked coldly.

Told by Muriel Stern 

Shortly after I had knocked, he opened the door. Obviously he hadn't expected any visitors as he had already taken off his robe. He wore only a pair of black trousers and a dark green shirt. This showed his slim figure exactly in the right places. His shirt was open at the neck and seeing this I really felt a bit weak. I hadn't expected that. But I tried not to show it and went in. 

„I have to talk to you, Professor Snape." I simply said.

„Can't you wait until tomorrow? I wanted to lay down and that is what you should do too!" he said curtly.

„No it can't wait!" I answered and did as if I hadn't noticed his hard voice. „Hey, are you cooking something in the middle of the night or what is it that bubbles in the other room?"

„That's none of your business!" he answered.

„It's a potion, isn't it? That has always fascinated me. Great. May I have a look?" and right away I went through the door into the classroom and to the cauldron that hung over the fire. Purple smoke rose.

„I didn't allow you to go in here!" he hissed. „ Please go now!"

As I didn't move he came behind the teachers desk and took my left arm and turned me abruptly towards him. „Don't you hear?"

I lifted my head and looked in silent into his deep black eyes. I felt like my legs weakened and my eyes filled with tears. He just managed to hold me. „Hey, don't worry, come." he said softly and lead me back into his office in a chair in front of the fire-place.

„What's wrong with you, Muriel?" he asked as he sat down into a chair opposite of me. „First that in the morning and now this?"

I took a deep breath and avoided to look at him. „It's quite a time now that I cannot get to sleep. Nightmares torture me. Worse than you can imagine. Sometimes I even fear to close my eyes because I am afraid that they come back." I whispered. „During the day then, I feel as if behind every shadow there waits danger."

„I know this feeling." he said in a low voice.

I lifted my head and our eyes met. We looked deep into the others eyes. I had the feeling as if I already knew these eyes. It seemed as if they could look into my soul. It was only a short moment, a part of a second, before the normal cold came back into his eyes. But what I had seen in his eyes, made me shiver. I saw sadness, pain, despair, disappointment but also passion. This man had already lived many things. But was he really „only" a teacher? 

Suddenly he got up and said: „You really should go now. Tomorrow will be a hard day."

I followed him to the door. He opened it and let me step out into the corridor. With a smile I said: „Good night."

„Good night and sleep well." he said softly and put a small flask with a purple liquid into my hand. He whispered. „Five drops are enough. You don't want to miss the lessons tomorrow, will you?" 

Was there a little smile in his face?

As I went up the stone stairs I turned around again. He still stood in the door and looked at me. My lips said a silent „Thanks" and I went back to my rooms.

TBC


End file.
